no matter how I may try to bottle my feelings up...or pretend things are not bothering me...it all comes out in the end...I've always had a problem with hiding the way I'm feeling so that people think I'm okay...or it was/is my way of being strong for other people...to tell the truth...I'm sick of trying to please everyone...I'm tired of thinking that if I live on a "stage" then things will be okie dokie...I'M SICK & TIRED...reasons being...
- sometimes my heart feels as though it is going to explode
- tears feel as though they are about to fall from my eyes
- I've lived on the "stage" for 29 yrs
- it's okay if people know I'm sad or that I need a helping hand
I know I've brought this whole thing on myself...but that's been how I was raised to deal with things...that I had to take care of myself & no one really took the time to push me into sharing my feelings...I'm not blaming anyone but myself...that's for sure...though it seems as though things have come to a head...or a boiling point...actually I just think that my heart is breaking into a million pieces right now & I can't help but deal with it.
one things for sure...I plan on making a habit of dealing with my feelings at the time something is bothering me...being more outspoken about how I feel...if something or someone is hurting me...I plan to express it...if something or someone is making me happy...I plan to express it...
it started today...after about a thirty minute cry...I mean a hard one...I've decided to make a fresh start from here on out...it's okay for me to be myself even if something is bothering me...I've got to deal with it & move on...instead of bottling it up & it all come crashing down around me sometime in the future...usually when I least expect it...like today.
I can do this...I am ready for a change when it comes to this part of my life...I'm as strong as I make myself!
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