Insatiable Curiosity...

yeah that's me...on so many different levels that it's not even funny...though when a stranger tells me this...after he has had a simple conversation with me...well hell yes it makes me excited...excited that I love my life & love the skin I live in...glad that I'm not the average woman...glad that I go about life on my own terms...just glad that I'm outspoken & can say what's on my mind...without wondering if the person I'm talking to will like what I have to say or not...I am me...a brave woman that loves to push the boundries...

Spring is Here...

I'm so happy that it's spring time...so glad for the warm air...the blue sky with white fluffy clouds...the bright green grass...the birds singing...flowers blooming...it's just a great time of year...not as cold anymore...not summer hot yet...just all around great...I am thankful.

Oh Where...Oh Where...Might My Agent Be...

here I go again...the dance will begin tonight...I've got two meetings with potential agents tonight...I'd rather have my finger nails torn off...than do interviews for an agent...now is when I didn't know how good I had it by having the same agent for 10 years...dang...shit...fuck a duck...it's such a serious event that takes place...maybe I'll clash with them & I'll be able to leave within 10 minutes...though I know I truly need a new one...I just hate trying to find one...why is it so hard to find someone that doesn't piss me off...someone that laughs a lot but is serious about their job...someone that can keep their personal life separate from their job...please...please let me find someone that I like & can stand to be around to represent me...

Hurry Up & Spit it Out...

It may be me...may be my ADD...may be that I just don't want to take the time...but I wish people would say what they want to say...there's no need in taking a day & a half to get a point across...or to get it out of your mouth...I get lost in other thoughts as I'm waiting for the person to say what they are trying to get together in their head...I feel that you do need to think about what comes out of your mouth...BUT...LISTEN UP PEOPLE...when you are thinking about it so hard...trying to make sure it's perfect...that it takes you forever to even get a word out of your mouth...well...lets just say...I don't have time for that & I get pissy because I think you are requiring me to try & concentrate for longer than I choose...so...after you finally get it out of your mouth & I look confused...well it's because I'm trying to piece together my thoughts & what you actually finally got out of your mouth...anyhoo...just say what you want to say...

Gobbledygook...

that's what my brain has felt like for the past two weeks...not really sure why...other than the fact that I've not taken the time...to write in my journal the way I should...since I've been focusing on doing things for my agent...which I fired over the weekend...wow what a crazy world it is trying to be a writer...anyhoo...

Hey You...

to the lady with 8 kids & pregent with the 9th...you can kiss my ass...do I look like I'm here to cater to you...or keep your unruly children in line...don't think so...I'm here to greet your sorry ass with a smile & direct you in the way you need to go...I can't help that the state has told you that you'll have to buy your babies milk until the first of May...I also can't help that you have decided to birth children by 6 different men...so you know what I have to say to you...keep your legs closed...spank those brats that are driving you nuts...and get a damn job!!!!!!!

to the slacker guy that smells like a mixture between a wet ashtray & a dog...when I tell your stupid ass that the front of the building is a smoke free zone...that's what I mean...it's not that I'm bored & don't have anyone to talk to...sooo...when I make it a point to tell you...DON'T SMOKE THERE...I mean it...then when you go back out for your 4th smoke within 30 minutes...just because you want to kill yourself...doesn't mean that all of us non smokers want to kick over dead with you...after you have lit up...I walk outside to let you know I'm serious about you not smoking in that area...I wish a mother would step up on me...you know...the look you shot me just reinforces the fact that...there are humans walking around sucking air that are such a frinkin waste of space!!

to the little girl with the big brown eyes...you are cute as a button...sorry your Mom is a looser...can't hold a job & expects the state to raise you...if I could...I'd take you home with me & give you the attention & love that you deserve...bless your heart...you have bruises & dark circles under your eyes...you've only been in the world for 18 months...your mom has been to jail for hurting you...I hope she stops & that you grow up to have a wonderful life...I want to hug you & kiss you all over...to let you know that everything is going to be okay...but I can't...so I sit here & wish that not everyone that has a vagina could pop a baby out...I'm sorry you've been given the life that you have...I just hope & pray you make it to your 2nd birthday!

to the guy that comes in twice a week for his teeth to be worked on...thanks for bringing me starbucks this morning...you are a heaven sent...thanks...you even told me a joke...so be it if it was corny...but since you brought me coffee...I'll give you a little bit of my time...though don't take my giggles the wrong way...I've seen you eyeing me from across the room before...I know you make it a point to say hi & try to hang out at my desk when you come in...lets just say this...thanks for the coffee...now move along & stare at someone else!

So What If It's Squares...

After slamming ideas down on little squares of paper...I've finally gotten my "must have" writings done...so off they go...all 314 squares...my agent is going to flip...I told her that I write whenever the notion hits me...sooo...to her dislike...I like to write on pieces of paper cut or shaped...most are squares...that's what I chose to write on this time...she's lucky...to get special writing from a special woman on special paper...we'll see how special she thinks it all is in a day or so.

The Reason Being...

I've not really updated my blog the way it should be...well...it's because so much clutter has been bouncing around inside my head...also the fact that I've been trying to create 24 pages on 4 different topics for my agent...what fun that has been...can you say...woohoo...usually writing is a release for me...though for some reason...when I've been TOLD to produce something...well...that just sucks the fun right out of it for me...lol...guess that's why I had my novel 98% finished before I started shopping for a publishing company...anyhoo...since I have given it a fair try to update my blog...though mostly it's been saved as drafts...I thought I'd post a few random ones that had not been published...soooo...here you go...

...Sushi...Comedy &...Pillow Talk...

the weekend was pretty good...a relaxing one spent with GG...I tried Sushi for the first time in my life...walked away wishing I had the chance to eat it more often...if not everyday...it was refreshing & tasted great...he suggested what I should order...which I must say was a great idea...after eating...we took a short walk...it had rained & the air was still damp...after walking...we went to a comedy club & saw what I would say...a funny man...our seats were right in front of the stage...RIGHT IN FRONT...which is never a really good place to sit when you are seeing live comedy...though we made it thru it...unharmed...lol...then there was some pillow talk that followed our evening...which opened my eyes to some views that Mr. GG has...it's all good...so be it if we are naked & have serious conversations about life...

...Enjoying His Company...

there we were...sitting on the couch watching a movie...he was rubbing the inner part of my arm...the strokes were a little firm but they still gave me chills...after several minutes of that...I started rubbing his inner thigh...inching my way up...when my hand finally made it to his package...he was already arroused...which was a surprise but at the same time...I know what turns the man on...after kissing intensly for a bit...he grabs my hand & starts getting up...


...The Grass is Sooo Green...

This time of year is great...even though I sneeze my head off...with everything around starting to bloom after a long hard winter...it's great to be surrounded by color...the fresh bright colors...it's great...also helps me when it comes to my writing...since I new things seem to make me think more...or at least makes me wonder about things...though one thing for sure is that...this time of the year makes me what to go on vacation...visit new places...see different faces...just relax in the warm breeze somewhere...

Wishing...

In my novel world...today would play out like...

she was sitting on the shore...listening to the waves rolling in...in the distance she could hear the sounds of children laughing...as she looked out over the water...her mind drifted to him...remembering his smile...the way he made her feel content with life...no matter what was bothering her at the time...he had a way about him...a way that made all her worries fade away...he always had something wise to say...or a great story to share...he made life simple in a great way...he knew her buttons...all of them...which ones that needed pushing when...today would be a day that he would be able to make her drift away into his own dream world...taking her by the hand & leading her to a land of...fluffy clouds & a bright blue sky...the grass would be the color of green that made you smile...the wind would be blowing with a slight coolness in it...they would lay in the grass looking toward the sky...talking about what in life makes them happy...not a care in the world would be bothering them...

Instead...I'm sitting at work...looking out the window wishing I was in that dream world...listening to his words bounce around inside my head!

Mr. Nasty...

Thanks for coming in & staring at me...I know I'm beautiful...but damn it...you are one nasty & scary looking man...the type of man that makes me pick up my pace when I pass you on the sidewalk...the type that makes me glance back over my shoulder to make sure you've not turned around headed my way...the type that creeps me out...you not only looked at me...but stared...I'm don't want to know what you were thinking...but you are the type of man that makes me want a big strong man to escort me to my car...hope you have a great day...now that you've creeped me out & made me feel dirty!

Thank you Toilet Paper Maker...

for the experience of using my work bathroom day after day...trying to pull toilet paper off the roll...one sheet at a time...ONE sheet...AT A TIME...why yes...it's my pleasure to spend my whole break in the restroom...pulling one sheet of paper off the roll at a time...I don't have anything else more important to do with my time than...tear one sheet off at a time...also I'd like to say thank's to the person at work that orders the toilet paper...guess the budget is tight...maybe you think that the employees will use less toilet paper if we can only get one sheet at a time...I beg to differ...I'll take an extended break just to make sure...that when I go to wipe my hand does not get wet...fire me if you want to!!!

I'm thinking about...

• Taking time off of work to concentrate on my writing.
• How good a nice juicy steak would be.
• I wish I was sitting on a beach somewhere soaking up the sun.
• My hair sure is fluffy today.
• A cold adult drink would be great.
• I need a spa day.
• How good it would be to see my Aunt & her be healthy.
• My hair blowing in the breeze while on a cruise ship.
• Work is boring today.
• My vault has me jumpy.
• I’m excited about seeing GG tonight!
• Can’t wait to see the boy play his first tball game.

Agent Shopping...

after having the same agent for 10 years...I had to end up firing him...he no longer had my best interests at heart...or could handle the deal that I'm going over now...he's always been money driven...which is good to a point...but...when I was offered my current book deal...all he could focus on was the dollar signs...which turned him into a total asshole...which in turn lead to us arguing & me dropping several F bombs on him...which then lead to me firing him...anyhoo...

so now I'm shopping for a new agent...which sucks huge balls...I have to have someone that is bold & can handle me...someone that don't mind telling me to sit down & shut up...they have to be outspoken & willing to ask questions...I shouldn't have to be the one asking 90% of the questions...when I'm paying them to do that...they also have to be fun...or somewhat fun when I have to spend time with them...so with that tall order to fill...I'm searching...

Giddy & Scared...

life...what a fun roller-coaster to ride...it's like when you have reached the top of the hill & about to drop...that funny feeling you get in your stomach...the feeling that makes you either giddy or scared to death...I feel that life holds both of those feelings...right now I'd dealing with both...though I must say I'm giddy to the point that it scares me...but I'm grown & can deal with it...if I have to...lol...at least it's a fun ride!