That's "Miss Crutch" to you...

all of my life...I've been there for people...if I chose to be or if I was in the so called wrong place at the wrong time...yes I'm a listener...yes I enjoy getting to know people...but damn it...nothing about those two things scream...TELL ME YOUR CRAP & I'LL JUST GRIN & BARE IT...

about right now...I'd so like to scream at the top of my lungs...tare holes in my skin...pull out my hair...bang my head on the wall...stab out my eyes...yes I'm pissed...yes I'm upset...but since I love myself as much as I do...I'm going to write about it...instead of causing myself bodily harm...

I'm tired of being used...tired of being the one person people run to with all their fucked up stuff...tired of listening...tired of being that person that listens so well & has a kind word to offer...tired of taking on every ones shit on my shoulders...because that is what really happens...when I listen to people...they come to me to unload their shit...I listen...comfort them...tell them what & how I feel about the situation...then when they've gotten it all out...they leave...go on with their lives...but you know what...their shit stays with me...they feel better now...and I'm the one that they have transferred their shit to...I'm the one that is ALWAYS there...I know they appreciate it...but they don't realize what they are doing...the reason they feel so much better is because...they've gotten it off their chest...gotten it out in the open...which is great...though it would be greater if I wasn't the person that was left with their baggage...

alright...so it's happened again...I find myself in some type of relationship with a man...one that wants to be with me but has issues pulling him down or away...his actions say one thing...but his words are drilling holes thru my eardrums...this is where my new revelation has come from...actually it's one that I've always known...it's just that I get wrapped up in the way I'm feeling at the time...but anyway...the man is great...I like spending time with him...like laughing with him...like being with him...there's just one thing that would make things even better...if he hadn't been married & then divorced...I'm tired of being every one's crutch...with that said...

I must say I'm a wonderful woman...have a lot to offer...bring more to the table than most women...I've been told this over & over during my lifetime...yes I'm conceded...but people know that I'm wonderful & have told me it many times...so yes it's my fault to keep putting myself in these situations...but I'm standing up for myself from now on...I've decided some things & I'm going to stick to them...

all in all...I've been...stepped on...pushed aside...ran over...taken for granted...this is where it stops...I've got feelings also...I live in the same world as the people that do this to me...and everyone does it to me...family...friends...co workers...strangers...anyone that spends a little bit of time with me...I'm sick of it...I'm putting my foot down...it's my life...I've got to take care of myself...because no one else is going to...that's for sure...