Yeah I would...

if only he was standing in front of me...I'd punch him in the mouth & then knee him in the balls....make him beg for mercy...

Pepperment Patty...

so there I was...waiting to pay for my purchase...when I hear a little girl yell..."MOM...MOM it's Pepperment Patty"...more than once I heard this...so finally I turned around all while thinking..."parents should not give their children sugar covered ceral"...lol...when I turned to see what was going on...the little girl was pointing up at me...with her eyes wide...she yelled..."IT'S PEPPERMENT PATTY!!!!!"...I hadn't had my coffee yet...so I decided to turn around & just mind my own business...after I shot her a sweet smile...then all of a sudden I felt something pulling at the bottom of my scrub top...I turned around to see what in the heck was going on...it was the little girl & she said..."Hey Pepperment Patty...do you know Charlie Brown?"...needless to say I didn't know what to say...

With that said...

the previous post that is...I'm in a great mood...feel fine...going for a walk & on a hunt for something great to eat...I'm not one to wallow in my own funk...I deal with it & move on...though the man did make me cry today...guess I needed that also...but I'm sticking to my guns...what I wrote in the previous post is true...will be honored & will guide my life from this point on...all I'm saying is that I don't say mad or upset long at all...plus it's a beautiful evening...no need for me to waste it...

That's "Miss Crutch" to you...

all of my life...I've been there for people...if I chose to be or if I was in the so called wrong place at the wrong time...yes I'm a listener...yes I enjoy getting to know people...but damn it...nothing about those two things scream...TELL ME YOUR CRAP & I'LL JUST GRIN & BARE IT...

about right now...I'd so like to scream at the top of my lungs...tare holes in my skin...pull out my hair...bang my head on the wall...stab out my eyes...yes I'm pissed...yes I'm upset...but since I love myself as much as I do...I'm going to write about it...instead of causing myself bodily harm...

I'm tired of being used...tired of being the one person people run to with all their fucked up stuff...tired of listening...tired of being that person that listens so well & has a kind word to offer...tired of taking on every ones shit on my shoulders...because that is what really happens...when I listen to people...they come to me to unload their shit...I listen...comfort them...tell them what & how I feel about the situation...then when they've gotten it all out...they leave...go on with their lives...but you know what...their shit stays with me...they feel better now...and I'm the one that they have transferred their shit to...I'm the one that is ALWAYS there...I know they appreciate it...but they don't realize what they are doing...the reason they feel so much better is because...they've gotten it off their chest...gotten it out in the open...which is great...though it would be greater if I wasn't the person that was left with their baggage...

alright...so it's happened again...I find myself in some type of relationship with a man...one that wants to be with me but has issues pulling him down or away...his actions say one thing...but his words are drilling holes thru my eardrums...this is where my new revelation has come from...actually it's one that I've always known...it's just that I get wrapped up in the way I'm feeling at the time...but anyway...the man is great...I like spending time with him...like laughing with him...like being with him...there's just one thing that would make things even better...if he hadn't been married & then divorced...I'm tired of being every one's crutch...with that said...

I must say I'm a wonderful woman...have a lot to offer...bring more to the table than most women...I've been told this over & over during my lifetime...yes I'm conceded...but people know that I'm wonderful & have told me it many times...so yes it's my fault to keep putting myself in these situations...but I'm standing up for myself from now on...I've decided some things & I'm going to stick to them...

all in all...I've been...stepped on...pushed aside...ran over...taken for granted...this is where it stops...I've got feelings also...I live in the same world as the people that do this to me...and everyone does it to me...family...friends...co workers...strangers...anyone that spends a little bit of time with me...I'm sick of it...I'm putting my foot down...it's my life...I've got to take care of myself...because no one else is going to...that's for sure...

Movies...minus the popcorn...

Last night I saw Iron Man...lets just say it was better than I thought it would be...which made it very good...because I figured it would be good...I'll just call him Robert...you know like I know him personally...lmao...he was great & great to look at...there were a couple of times where I could have ate him up with a spoon...lol...what's her name...oh yeah...Gwyneth Paltrow didn't tank the movie...she actually did good & I think she was made for that part...so all in all...it was great...things exploded...there were good looking guys...the movies had a great story...I'd even pay to see a second one if it was ever made.

speaking of movies...it's getting close to summer & you know the people that produce movies want to entertain us sunburned folks...lol...so here's a list of movies I'd like to see this summer...

What Happens In Vegas...May 9...Cameron Diaz & Ashton Kutcher...I should get some laughs out of that one...which I've always thought in the back of my head that these two would make a fun couple...but who am I to say...lol

Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of Crystal Skull...May 22...Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf...can't wait to see this movie...just can't wait...I get all excited inside just thinking about this movie...lets just say that I've always had hidden feelings for Harrison...oh what I would do to that mans body...

Sex and the City...May 30...everyone knows who is in it...anyhoo...for the girl in me...the one that I don't always put on display...the one that hates to shop & dress up for men...so they can look at my...ass...legs...& breasts...yeah that woman...I want to see it...I also want to see Mr Big settle down...it should be pretty entertaining...

Kung Fu Panda...June 6...Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Angelina Jolie, & Jackie Chan...this should be a cute & funny movie...should also offer several laughs...

The Happening...June 13...Mark Wahlbery, Zooey Deschanel, & John Leguizamo...comes out on Friday the 13th...which is great marketing...it's a thriller & it should leave us wondering what if...

X-Files: I want to Believe...July 25...people should know who is in this movie also...it's just the fact that it questions what we believe & what actually goes on...should be great...interesting & entertaining...

so there it is...the list...yes it's a good number of movies...but maybe my ADD will allow me to sit thru them all...I'll give it my best shot of not spacing out before it's over...lol

Thanks for the help...

to Red Bull & Starbucks...you make it so that I can actually complete a day without wanting to stab someone in the neck with a rusty butter knife...thanks so much...I mean it...I need all the help I can get...life is so much better when those two things are floating thru my body!!!

B-A-N-A-N-A-S...

taken from a Gwen Stefani song...

"this shit is bananas"

got another meeting tonight with a potential agent...woo frickin hoo...though I don't care if I like them or not...I'm not meeting with anymore at all the rest of the week & weekend...I'm tired of waking up hating the fact that I've got those meetings...I've actually had a thought...which is..."I could pay someone to meet with these people as say my representative & then if they think I would get along with them then I'll meet with them"...sounds good to me...though I know it will not work...too bad...

Conversation with an EX...

Not really sure why he called...besides stating that he was moving to ATL & thought that we could get together some time...he made it a point to make sure I knew he was now divorced & never had any kids...this guy was great...though we are not meant for each other...he's always made it clear that I was the one that got away...I try to make it clear that he could not fulfill my needs...in many ways...that our personalities were not meant to be matched...I'm outspoken & he's a complainer...meaning I would tell him to shut the fuck up moaning & complaining about things that he COULD change...though never found the need to actually change them...I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT...I don't get along with people that sit around fussing about their life...when in reality they could change what's going on around them...if you don't like something...change it...if you do like something...surround yourself more with those things...it's simple...life is only as good as you make it...that's why it's called YOUR LIFE...stupid people get on my last nerve...

When all else fails...

do a little dance...show your true colors...by telling the jerk off that you wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire...okay...so I'm not that mean...but who's to say...a sweet southern gal like myself doesn't have those thoughts...I can't be perfect...people that know me are already aware of the fact that I speak my mind...sooo...what was he thinking...

I had another meet & greet with a potential agent last night...that came after me working 10 hours...I didn't have a bad day by no means...just a very busy one...though he did get a whole hour of my time...sooooo...what I'm trying to say is that he didn't piss me off until an hour into the meeting...lol...

I'm meeting GG tomorrow...we're going to see Iron Man...woo hoo...then going to get some sushi...since the last time it was storming & we didn't want to trek downtown in all the lightening...or have to drive very far in the monsoon...lol...instead we settle for Japanese food...the kind where they cook it on the grill in front of you...which was cool...we had great conversation & great food...anyhoo...since he is into comic book movies...and since I think Robert Downey Jr. & Terrence Howard could make it pretty interesting...I'm along for the ride...though I think it's great that he said he wanted to really see it & that we could get sushi...which means...this is what ran thru his mind..."hey if I offer sushi then she'll have a harder time saying no to the comic book movie so let me try this to see what happens"...LMAO...I've got to give him points for being creative...

also tomorrow I'm supposed to walk 3.5 miles with the people I work with...all for a great cause...March of Dimes...we're marching for babies...which I think is cool...the only part that I'm not finding so cool...is that it's at 8am on a Saturday morning...yes that's one day that I usually like to sleep in...though I don't mind getting up & getting out of the house for a good cause...it's just that it's supposed to be raining...which means I could get sick...I'm not trying to do that...I was sick enough last year to meet my quota for never being sick again...anyhoo...guess I'll wait & see what the weathers like @ 6:30am tomorrow...lol...

I super excited that it's Friday...got meetings tonight with potential agents...please god stop the cruel & unusual punishment...lol...I hope to find someone to represent me really soon...then I hope to get into bed not to late since I've got to get up at the crack of dawn...anyhoo...then I get to see GG tomorrow...woo hoo...I really like the man...enough said...then on Sunday...it's another round with more meetings...thank goodness the weekend starts for me @ 2pm today!!!

Insatiable Curiosity...

yeah that's me...on so many different levels that it's not even funny...though when a stranger tells me this...after he has had a simple conversation with me...well hell yes it makes me excited...excited that I love my life & love the skin I live in...glad that I'm not the average woman...glad that I go about life on my own terms...just glad that I'm outspoken & can say what's on my mind...without wondering if the person I'm talking to will like what I have to say or not...I am me...a brave woman that loves to push the boundries...

Spring is Here...

I'm so happy that it's spring time...so glad for the warm air...the blue sky with white fluffy clouds...the bright green grass...the birds singing...flowers blooming...it's just a great time of year...not as cold anymore...not summer hot yet...just all around great...I am thankful.

Oh Where...Oh Where...Might My Agent Be...

here I go again...the dance will begin tonight...I've got two meetings with potential agents tonight...I'd rather have my finger nails torn off...than do interviews for an agent...now is when I didn't know how good I had it by having the same agent for 10 years...dang...shit...fuck a duck...it's such a serious event that takes place...maybe I'll clash with them & I'll be able to leave within 10 minutes...though I know I truly need a new one...I just hate trying to find one...why is it so hard to find someone that doesn't piss me off...someone that laughs a lot but is serious about their job...someone that can keep their personal life separate from their job...please...please let me find someone that I like & can stand to be around to represent me...

Hurry Up & Spit it Out...

It may be me...may be my ADD...may be that I just don't want to take the time...but I wish people would say what they want to say...there's no need in taking a day & a half to get a point across...or to get it out of your mouth...I get lost in other thoughts as I'm waiting for the person to say what they are trying to get together in their head...I feel that you do need to think about what comes out of your mouth...BUT...LISTEN UP PEOPLE...when you are thinking about it so hard...trying to make sure it's perfect...that it takes you forever to even get a word out of your mouth...well...lets just say...I don't have time for that & I get pissy because I think you are requiring me to try & concentrate for longer than I choose...so...after you finally get it out of your mouth & I look confused...well it's because I'm trying to piece together my thoughts & what you actually finally got out of your mouth...anyhoo...just say what you want to say...

Gobbledygook...

that's what my brain has felt like for the past two weeks...not really sure why...other than the fact that I've not taken the time...to write in my journal the way I should...since I've been focusing on doing things for my agent...which I fired over the weekend...wow what a crazy world it is trying to be a writer...anyhoo...

Hey You...

to the lady with 8 kids & pregent with the 9th...you can kiss my ass...do I look like I'm here to cater to you...or keep your unruly children in line...don't think so...I'm here to greet your sorry ass with a smile & direct you in the way you need to go...I can't help that the state has told you that you'll have to buy your babies milk until the first of May...I also can't help that you have decided to birth children by 6 different men...so you know what I have to say to you...keep your legs closed...spank those brats that are driving you nuts...and get a damn job!!!!!!!

to the slacker guy that smells like a mixture between a wet ashtray & a dog...when I tell your stupid ass that the front of the building is a smoke free zone...that's what I mean...it's not that I'm bored & don't have anyone to talk to...sooo...when I make it a point to tell you...DON'T SMOKE THERE...I mean it...then when you go back out for your 4th smoke within 30 minutes...just because you want to kill yourself...doesn't mean that all of us non smokers want to kick over dead with you...after you have lit up...I walk outside to let you know I'm serious about you not smoking in that area...I wish a mother would step up on me...you know...the look you shot me just reinforces the fact that...there are humans walking around sucking air that are such a frinkin waste of space!!

to the little girl with the big brown eyes...you are cute as a button...sorry your Mom is a looser...can't hold a job & expects the state to raise you...if I could...I'd take you home with me & give you the attention & love that you deserve...bless your heart...you have bruises & dark circles under your eyes...you've only been in the world for 18 months...your mom has been to jail for hurting you...I hope she stops & that you grow up to have a wonderful life...I want to hug you & kiss you all over...to let you know that everything is going to be okay...but I can't...so I sit here & wish that not everyone that has a vagina could pop a baby out...I'm sorry you've been given the life that you have...I just hope & pray you make it to your 2nd birthday!

to the guy that comes in twice a week for his teeth to be worked on...thanks for bringing me starbucks this morning...you are a heaven sent...thanks...you even told me a joke...so be it if it was corny...but since you brought me coffee...I'll give you a little bit of my time...though don't take my giggles the wrong way...I've seen you eyeing me from across the room before...I know you make it a point to say hi & try to hang out at my desk when you come in...lets just say this...thanks for the coffee...now move along & stare at someone else!

So What If It's Squares...

After slamming ideas down on little squares of paper...I've finally gotten my "must have" writings done...so off they go...all 314 squares...my agent is going to flip...I told her that I write whenever the notion hits me...sooo...to her dislike...I like to write on pieces of paper cut or shaped...most are squares...that's what I chose to write on this time...she's lucky...to get special writing from a special woman on special paper...we'll see how special she thinks it all is in a day or so.

The Reason Being...

I've not really updated my blog the way it should be...well...it's because so much clutter has been bouncing around inside my head...also the fact that I've been trying to create 24 pages on 4 different topics for my agent...what fun that has been...can you say...woohoo...usually writing is a release for me...though for some reason...when I've been TOLD to produce something...well...that just sucks the fun right out of it for me...lol...guess that's why I had my novel 98% finished before I started shopping for a publishing company...anyhoo...since I have given it a fair try to update my blog...though mostly it's been saved as drafts...I thought I'd post a few random ones that had not been published...soooo...here you go...

...Sushi...Comedy &...Pillow Talk...

the weekend was pretty good...a relaxing one spent with GG...I tried Sushi for the first time in my life...walked away wishing I had the chance to eat it more often...if not everyday...it was refreshing & tasted great...he suggested what I should order...which I must say was a great idea...after eating...we took a short walk...it had rained & the air was still damp...after walking...we went to a comedy club & saw what I would say...a funny man...our seats were right in front of the stage...RIGHT IN FRONT...which is never a really good place to sit when you are seeing live comedy...though we made it thru it...unharmed...lol...then there was some pillow talk that followed our evening...which opened my eyes to some views that Mr. GG has...it's all good...so be it if we are naked & have serious conversations about life...

...Enjoying His Company...

there we were...sitting on the couch watching a movie...he was rubbing the inner part of my arm...the strokes were a little firm but they still gave me chills...after several minutes of that...I started rubbing his inner thigh...inching my way up...when my hand finally made it to his package...he was already arroused...which was a surprise but at the same time...I know what turns the man on...after kissing intensly for a bit...he grabs my hand & starts getting up...


...The Grass is Sooo Green...

This time of year is great...even though I sneeze my head off...with everything around starting to bloom after a long hard winter...it's great to be surrounded by color...the fresh bright colors...it's great...also helps me when it comes to my writing...since I new things seem to make me think more...or at least makes me wonder about things...though one thing for sure is that...this time of the year makes me what to go on vacation...visit new places...see different faces...just relax in the warm breeze somewhere...

Wishing...

In my novel world...today would play out like...

she was sitting on the shore...listening to the waves rolling in...in the distance she could hear the sounds of children laughing...as she looked out over the water...her mind drifted to him...remembering his smile...the way he made her feel content with life...no matter what was bothering her at the time...he had a way about him...a way that made all her worries fade away...he always had something wise to say...or a great story to share...he made life simple in a great way...he knew her buttons...all of them...which ones that needed pushing when...today would be a day that he would be able to make her drift away into his own dream world...taking her by the hand & leading her to a land of...fluffy clouds & a bright blue sky...the grass would be the color of green that made you smile...the wind would be blowing with a slight coolness in it...they would lay in the grass looking toward the sky...talking about what in life makes them happy...not a care in the world would be bothering them...

Instead...I'm sitting at work...looking out the window wishing I was in that dream world...listening to his words bounce around inside my head!

Mr. Nasty...

Thanks for coming in & staring at me...I know I'm beautiful...but damn it...you are one nasty & scary looking man...the type of man that makes me pick up my pace when I pass you on the sidewalk...the type that makes me glance back over my shoulder to make sure you've not turned around headed my way...the type that creeps me out...you not only looked at me...but stared...I'm don't want to know what you were thinking...but you are the type of man that makes me want a big strong man to escort me to my car...hope you have a great day...now that you've creeped me out & made me feel dirty!

Thank you Toilet Paper Maker...

for the experience of using my work bathroom day after day...trying to pull toilet paper off the roll...one sheet at a time...ONE sheet...AT A TIME...why yes...it's my pleasure to spend my whole break in the restroom...pulling one sheet of paper off the roll at a time...I don't have anything else more important to do with my time than...tear one sheet off at a time...also I'd like to say thank's to the person at work that orders the toilet paper...guess the budget is tight...maybe you think that the employees will use less toilet paper if we can only get one sheet at a time...I beg to differ...I'll take an extended break just to make sure...that when I go to wipe my hand does not get wet...fire me if you want to!!!

I'm thinking about...

• Taking time off of work to concentrate on my writing.
• How good a nice juicy steak would be.
• I wish I was sitting on a beach somewhere soaking up the sun.
• My hair sure is fluffy today.
• A cold adult drink would be great.
• I need a spa day.
• How good it would be to see my Aunt & her be healthy.
• My hair blowing in the breeze while on a cruise ship.
• Work is boring today.
• My vault has me jumpy.
• I’m excited about seeing GG tonight!
• Can’t wait to see the boy play his first tball game.

Agent Shopping...

after having the same agent for 10 years...I had to end up firing him...he no longer had my best interests at heart...or could handle the deal that I'm going over now...he's always been money driven...which is good to a point...but...when I was offered my current book deal...all he could focus on was the dollar signs...which turned him into a total asshole...which in turn lead to us arguing & me dropping several F bombs on him...which then lead to me firing him...anyhoo...

so now I'm shopping for a new agent...which sucks huge balls...I have to have someone that is bold & can handle me...someone that don't mind telling me to sit down & shut up...they have to be outspoken & willing to ask questions...I shouldn't have to be the one asking 90% of the questions...when I'm paying them to do that...they also have to be fun...or somewhat fun when I have to spend time with them...so with that tall order to fill...I'm searching...

Giddy & Scared...

life...what a fun roller-coaster to ride...it's like when you have reached the top of the hill & about to drop...that funny feeling you get in your stomach...the feeling that makes you either giddy or scared to death...I feel that life holds both of those feelings...right now I'd dealing with both...though I must say I'm giddy to the point that it scares me...but I'm grown & can deal with it...if I have to...lol...at least it's a fun ride!

Where to Vaca...

so...my guy wants to take a vaca with me...which I'm all excited about...though it is a pretty big step...or to me at least...it's not that I don't want to spend time with him...or that I don't want to travel with him...because lord knows...I truly enjoy spending time with him & I love to travel...so most people would ask...what's the hang up then...there is really not one...guess I've just been letting my mind wonder somewhat...anyhoo...I'm so going to go for it...also going to enjoy every minute of being with him...now I only need to do some looking into different places I'd like to go...updates to come...

Say What...

a few lines from a couple different conversations that I endured last night...

"not to stalk you or anything...but I was wanting to make sure you were cool & comfortable with what we have together."

"they were broken up one whole day before you know who hooked up"

"it was so pretty that it made me want to drool on it"

"he's the one that caught your attention from the parking lot"

"alrighty then...bring on the whips...chains...and handcuffs"

"dang...we've got a serial dater"

"they want to tell you they love you...then knock a girl up...and then propose and get married all in the same month"

"I can handle it if you can"

Hey You...Drunk Driver....

what the hell crossed your mind for you to get behind the wheel to drive...I'm only guessing all the beers or shots that you had...wasn't a wake up call...or the reports from people seeing you stumble out of the bar & offering to call you a cab...guess you felt the need to finally take your sorry ass back home...what the fuck...I don't understand people that drink & drive...I don't...it doesn't matter the situation or the cause of it...you will never convince me that it's okay to get behind a wheel when you know you can't keep yourself stood upright...the only convincing it does for me...is that the human race are fuck offs & don't care about other human beings...more less themselves...if you couldn't tell...yes I'm pissed...so pissed that I can't see straight...I want to scream...or at least be locked in the same room as you...I'd beat some sense into your dense head...the reason I'm so upset about this is the fact that...you hit my friends daughter...she was just 7 years old...on vacation with her family...ridding her bike on the sidewalk...when your drunk ass drove up onto the sidewalk & slammed her helpless body to the ground...now she's in a coma...a COMA...the doctors say she'll never wake up...don't get me wrong...anytime I hear about people driving drunk I get pissed...but now that you've seriously hurt someone that I'm close to...well now I'm aiming my sights straight for your stupid drunk ass...what the fuck...your alcohol level was three times the damn legal limit...but you still thought you could get behind the wheel & drive home...guess you don't have any respect for you own damn life...more less anyone else's...well guess what fucker...now you'll have the rest of your sorry ass life to sit behind bars & think about what you've done...hope you like small cramped damp spaces!!!!

Who me...

guess who's going to be a published author...yeah that's me...though the contract still needs to be read very carefully...but the deal was presented & I had to pick my jaw up off the floor...lol...never knew that I could make so much money off my writing...I'm not complaining that's for sure...but it's still very much a shock!!!

Massage Oil...The Kams & Sex Talk...

what a way to wind up your Thursday evening...after working late...grabbing a bite to eat...no one should ever put huge mushrooms on Kams pizza...dear god...lol...heading to the adult store to pick up...massage oil...stopping off at walmart to get a notebook & pen...which became known as the..."Holly Hell Book"...lmao...taking a road trip only to pick up my phone charger...talking to GG...ahhhh...that's my guy...giving serious instructions on how to devour a man's body...eating some chocolate...laughing so hard that I almost snorted...gave a shoulder massage demo...tried to educate how to use just the finger tips when caressing a mans chest...reading Cosmo...getting lost in the thought of being with GG...some talk about an "itty bitty"...glowing as the Kams put it...all in all...it was a wonderful evening...

Cooking Queen...

alrighty...hmmmm...so as my previous post...you can tell I met a guy that I like...so with that said...when I like people...I enjoy cooking for them...not just the everyday things...I like to go out of my way...cook things they will not cook for themselves or can't cook...that's when...I step it up a notch...I LOVE TO COOK...also get pleasure from people eating my food...I do like to show off a bit when it comes to being in the kitchen...I've been called..."Cooking Queen"...not sure if that's correct or not...but I can find my way around a kitchen pretty good...men also eat it up that I can cook a meal...sometimes after I've cooked for a guy...they wont leave me alone...lol...but with the new guy in my life...I'm more than ready to win him over with my food...lol...if he only knew what he was getting himself into...anyhoo...here's the menu that I've planned out...

I'll start off with a fruit & cheese tray...he's supplying the wine...which will lead into the main course of...Lasagna and broiled zucchini & potatoes with parmesan crust...the meal will end up with...chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches...can't wait!!

oh my...it's going to be a nice evening!

Lost in the Moment...

What started off as a nice evening...got even better as the time passed...I found myself walking beside a man that not only...I found attractive...but had me wrapped around his every word...as conversation shifted from topic to topic...I found myself paying more attention & waiting for his next word...as we walked & talked...I started getting that fuzzy feeling inside...you know...the feeling that makes you feel warm & comfortable...the feeling that makes you think what it would feel like to be held in his arms...to feel his head resting on your shoulder...feeling as if everything in the world is safe...the wind becomes more crisp...the lights get brighter...you hear more laughter around you...you’re looking thru different eyes...your view is becoming clear...and suddenly you realize that for this very moment...you are happy & very much content in the present situation...that calm feeling rushes over you...putting aside all the fears that you have built up in your mind...you’re not worrying about getting hurt...not worrying about where it will lead or when it will end...you are truly living in the moment...I’ve not felt that feeling in such a long time...at one point I thought as if I was going to tear up...it was so intense but I held it together...it’s that feeling that I’ve longed for...though had not been searching for...so when I felt it...my insides ached...my smile got larger...my eyes began to sparkle...my knees got a little weak...so with all that said...if it doesn’t last...which I’m truly hoping it does...then at least I know that it’s possible...to feel that way again!

Things not to say...

Things a woman don't want to be told...when looking to maybe find a man to spend some quality time with...

...I'm hung like a horse...
...I'm as hard as a wooden bat...
...I'm thick like a sledge hammer...
...I'd like to cum on your neck...
...I bet you swallow...
...I can tell just by your pic that you like it from the back...
...I'd like you to mount me...
...I'd like to stick you hard all night long...
...I'd let you deep throat me...
...Bet I could make you scream...

the sad part about it...the list just keeps going...what goes thru a mans mind that any of the above would work in their favor...I just don't understand...come on now...if it does anything at all for me...it makes me want to turn you into the cops for wanting to rip a womans insides out...lol...these are supposed to be grown men...whatever...

Webb of Men...

What a week it’s been...so...to make a somewhat long & men filled story a little shorter...I’m just going to hit the highlights of internet dating...

• Posting a picture of you is a must...though being cute is a plus...is it really necessary for grown men to say all the sexual banter...I don’t think so.
• Being confident about whom you are turns some men on...while turning others off...which is fine with me...I am who I am.
• Lots of men are looking for sex alone...nothing more...just a warm bodied woman so they can touch.
• Some men have physical problems but they don’t feel the need to tell you about...so when meeting them in public for the first time...you are kind of shocked.
• There are some men that are heartfelt...though they seem to be far & few in between.
• I’m the type of woman...that loves conversation...I don’t like to hear myself talking all the time...but love to interact with a man that’s sharing a good conversation.
• Where are all the guys that I’m attracted to...either I find a guy that can carry a great conversation but is not much to look at...or I find a cute guy that doesn’t know how to form a sentience.
• There’s no need in calling me any of the following...sexy...babe...honey...sugar pie...sweet thang...hot...there’s really no need.
• If you don’t have a job & are not willing to find one...excluding going to school...don’t ask me out...I’ve got to have a man that knows even though money is not the most important thing...life does require it.
• Even though I’m a very sexual woman...I’m not going to meet you just for sex...I require lots more...I’ve got to feel a connection with you before having sex ever crosses my mind.

Alrighty...it’s been an adventure thus far...only guessing it’ll continue...lol...as for dating more men...I’m meeting one tonight...just hoping he can carry a conversation & not want to ravish me from across the table!

Yes Ma'am I Am...

Where to begin…I’ve joined the internet dating craziness…lol…by that I mean…I’ve signed up for an account…been sending message & receiving them at high speed…it’s insane…how is it that you can live in the same town for over a year & never run into anyone that peeks your interest…but you can join a dating service online & you see hundreds if not thousands of people that live within 50 to 100 miles of you…I don’t understand…has people really left the streets or sidewalks to only sit in front of the computer & wait for someone to message…I know people have been doing it for a good while now…but it’s fascinating that I got 60 messages yesterday…really people…you see my picture & my profile…then go to work with coming up with things to write me…one liners…jokes…propositions…phone calls…lunch dates…coffee sipping…roller skating…horse back ridding…a brisk walk…laying on a blanket staring up at the sky…star gazing…hand holding walks thru a book store…body messages…IM chats…& so on…some great ideas…others left me shocked…some were interesting…people are brave & inventive…I’ll give them that…the only thing that you get with all the new found men in your life…you get all types of them…from every corner of the earth it seems like…I know you have to try your hand at it…you’ll go thru some duds along the way…I know this from first hand experience…just trust me on it…though it’s all an experience & an adventure…which I’m game for…anyhoo…just thought I’d express my thoughts thus far about the new chapter in my life.

Long Overdue...

I'm tired of being cold...ready for some heat...actually I'm ready for a vacation...it's been a long time coming...I usually go on one cruise a year & then take a couple of road trips...well...for the past year I've not really gotten away not even once...

I'm dreaming of palm trees...warm air blowing my hair...a cool drink...cute guys caring for my every need...fresh fruit...white sand & a wide open ocean...a good book...a lounge chair...goodness...just the thought makes me inhale a little deeper.

Hey There Fitz...

There I was…working…you know…what most people do Monday thru Friday…answering the phone & helping direct people in the way they needed to go…I was glancing out the front door & I saw a man…strolling my way…yes…strolling…he almost had a hop in his step…his frame & profile looked like I knew who it was…but thought…no…never in a million years would he be in town…I turned around to sign for a package that the delivery guy was dropping off…when I turned back around…there he was…standing at my desk…with that smile on his face…the smile that always gets him anything in the world that he wants…with his eyes lit up…I swear I looked straight into his soul…I remember those eyes…I use to spend hours gazing into them…what his eyes didn’t say…his body language said the rest…to be honest…I long for those Sunday afternoons when we just hung out around the house…being next to each other…our legs touching if nothing else…we would do the crossword puzzle together…took turns reading the comics…which lead to us having a make out session...then we would cook something from an island…that he learned to fix…always something exotic…always something refreshing…always new.

Before I Bottle it Up…

What was supposed to be a trip home for my granny’s 66th birthday…during which we were going on a relaxing ride upon a casino boat…was not meant to be…well the relaxing boat ride part…after driving about 4 hours I got the call that changed the weekend plans…my granny was rushed to the hospital for kidney failure…along with a list of other things…which meant I would be spending most of my time in South GA at the hospital…what started out with her in a private room…ended up in her being taken to the CCU…that way they could keep a better eye on her…which also meant we were only able to see her a little bit here & there…when I left yesterday afternoon to make my way back north…she was still resting in her bed on the CCU floor…nothing like being in the hospital on your birthday.

Also…my Aunt that is very sick with cancer…had an issue with her legs going numb…she’s dealt with this for a while now…it’s always came on slowly & she was able to sit down & rest during the time they were numb…this time was different…she got up to walk to the bathroom…half way there…she lost all the feeling in her legs & she fell…after a few minutes of her screaming & crying…she calmed down a bit…we all joined her with tears…it scared her & us to death…I wish it wouldn’t have happened…I wish I could take the nasty cancer from her body…but instead…all I can do is hope & pray for the best.

What a weekend…maybe this week will be awesome & keep me entertained…so I don’t concentrate on the health issues that seem to be rocking my family’s world.

Control Your Kid...

OH MY DAMN...if I hear one more kid...cry...scream...kick...punch...or...throw themselves in the floor...my head just might explode right off my mother frickin shoulders!!!!!!!!!!!!